I'm not distraught - or sweet for that matter but that's beside the point - and it's not any secret, not from you anyway. I just don't agree with it and don't want to think about it, or give anyone who would see the wrong impression.
[He can't actually quite put his finger on why it bothers him so much to be marked as 'forgiven', it just does, because he can't accept it. It brings him more shame than anything else they could have written, but it would seem positive to any onlooker. Maybe that's part of the shame. But the kiss comforts, and keeping it from Dorian just feels worse. So he pushes his hair aside for a moment to give the truth without having to say it.]
no subject
[He can't actually quite put his finger on why it bothers him so much to be marked as 'forgiven', it just does, because he can't accept it. It brings him more shame than anything else they could have written, but it would seem positive to any onlooker. Maybe that's part of the shame. But the kiss comforts, and keeping it from Dorian just feels worse. So he pushes his hair aside for a moment to give the truth without having to say it.]