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[thirtybits]

"This is Judah's voicemail, no need to leave your number, I'll reply as soon as I can."



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[thirtybits]

That's what I thought... You have a sister? I don't think you've mentioned her before. That much is good of you.

...You were going to be a philanthropist. A lot suddenly made sense after that.

[depicted]

I didn't do much good by my sister, but at least I remembered my brotherly duties enough for that.

[Okay no more talking about Dora. He hates talking about Dora. Let's complain about Lady Agatha instead!] I was going to play Romantic piano duets in Whitechapel at the behest of Harry's tedious aunt. That isn't quite philanthropy, whatever we called it in my day.

[thirtybits]

...That's what they called it? Alright, nevermind. [He shakes his head.] It's probably much better that you didn't. [Judas for one would be very angry if some rich asshole came to play piano for him and called it helping.]

Moving on then, before you said I would probably hate Henry. If he were ever to show up here, you should probably make sure I don't know about it. I won't be held responsible for my actions.

[depicted]

[Dorian is quiet a moment, then he sets down his glass. When he speaks, his voice has a delicate quality to it, as if he is afraid of upsetting Judas. Or himself.] Judah, he was not as bad as all that. I wouldn't want him to come to any more harm than he has because of me.

[thirtybits]

[Well that answers one question Judas has.]

...I'm sure things were difficult for him after the book came out. And no one really deserves for anything terrible to happen to them. [Certainly the coming 'but' is evident in his voice already, even with the pause before it.] ...But I don't think you realise what it seems to me Oscar was trying to tell you.

[depicted]

[Dorian braces himself for that 'but.' God save him.

And it is about as annoying as he expected.] That Harry was not really a true friend and that I needed to stop my shallow, selfish life of using others and rejecting the consequences, or else one day my regrets would become unbearable and I would kill myself? I did work it out.

[thirtybits]

I know you're aware of the rest, but the part about Henry in particular. That he used you.

[depicted]

[The pressed point bleeds him at the chest. Dorian's voice loses volume and his arms draw in to his chest.] I know what Harry did. To—me. I . . . understand what Oscar was saying. That he broke me.

But it was never malice, not ever. He was one of my most loyal and steadfast friends, he stayed with me when others would have turned their backs on me, when others did. And I can't—I won't believe that his loyalty was merely to stay near enough to watch his pet experiment. [The bitterness, that hint of the festering in this injury, disappears in an instant.] Whatever he else he did to me, he was my friend.

[thirtybits]

[With a small nod, Judas casts his eyes as far from Dorian as he can without moving his head more than allowing it to bow.]

I understand.

[He understands, but he doesn't fully agree. In some ways, yes, Dorian knows better, there are some sides to people you can only see in friendship. In other senses, that can be blinding. He knows that too well. Bothering Dorian, prodding the wound, won't help, though.]

[depicted]

But you don't agree.

[Even now, he smiles easily. It's a gift of youth.]

I'm not as blind as I was then. I don't expect you to accept it. But . . . Well. [With a second smile, lips pressed tight, he closes it all off.] It doesn't matter anymore. Harry is dead. We can't hurt each other again.

[thirtybits]

I do and I don't, but that hardly matters. No one can really tell you what's right and wrong, after all.

[He places a hand on Dorian's leg, just above the knee, as a small show of comfort and understanding.]

[depicted]

[Dorian breathes, slowly, measuring the air. He sets his hand atop Judas's and smiles.] As tiresome as it is to say it, I may have benefited from being told the difference a little more often.

[thirtybits]

Ah, well, here I am for you, then. [He offers a small grin.]

But actually, no, I think people have told you how you should think too much.

[depicted]

[It gives Dorian pause. After a moment, he brushes the hair back from Judas's temple and places there a kiss.] I can't recall anyone telling me that before.

Thank you, Judah.

[thirtybits]

Ah-- which part, that people tell you what to think too often? Well, both are true, either way.

[depicted]

[Rather than answering, he turns over Judas's hand and holds it in his own.] Harry wasn't the start of everything. There was someone before him. Harry . . . merely opened my eyes further to what I'd first seen with her. I wanted you to know that, before you set the full weight of your dislike on him.

[Then he smiles, brightly, as if the matter is closed.] But I really wish you could have met Oscar. I'm certain you would have liked each other very much. And you are always in need of more friends capable of lightness.

[thirtybits]

[How can he push for more information when Dorian so quickly changes the subject like that? Judas files it away at least, to ask later, if he ever has the opportunity.

He lights up with the new subject, though.]

I think I would have liked him for sure. I love his writings, anyway. What exactly do you mean by 'capable of lightness', though?

[depicted]

[Good, because it's unimportant. The important thing is that Harry doesn't deserve as much hate as all that.]

[Also, that Oscar is great. That is more important than anything.]

One reason he and Harry didn't get on is that Oscar had quite the wit to him. He made all conversations marvellous. He would have made you have fun despite yourself, speaking with him.

[thirtybits]

I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing...

[After all, Oscar probably isn't damned, and he really shouldn't get attached to people who are so far above him!]

[depicted]

Oh, don't worry about that. [He pats Judas on the arm.] I asked Robbie to get him a priest before he died. You don't think I'd leave the soul of one of my dearest friends unprotected, do you?

[thirtybits]

That's all the more reason for me to worry!

[He can't help but say it with a laugh, though.]

[depicted]

Nonsense. He has been protected. If I could keep the fingers of demonic wallpaper from stealing his soul, I can certainly stop you from doing any damage to him.

[because that's not crazy]

[thirtybits]

'Fingers of demonic wallpaper'? [Another laugh as he shakes his head.] I'm worse than that. And even if I can't cause someone trouble, it's just not right to bother people who have far better in store.

[depicted]

[Dorian lifts his chin.] I don't recall inviting you to disagree. Should the opportunity ever arise, you shall meet Oscar Wilde. It would make me happy, and for that reason if no other I would expect you both to comply.

[why does anyone even put up with him.]

[thirtybits]

[The order actually only makes him laugh more, and Judas has to cover his mouth to stop it getting out of control.]

I'm afraid whatever may be the right thing, I would want to meet him anyway.