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[thirtybits]

"This is Judah's voicemail, no need to leave your number, I'll reply as soon as I can."



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[thirtybits]

Probably, yes. But the subject of mental health is pretty taboo in both our circles. [Judas returns that same small smile, and another half of a shrug.]

[depicted]

Can you imagine it? [Dorian laughs.] An immortal man seeks psychiatric help for his suicidal desires. I'd be a Timothy Findley novel. And you! Judas Iscariot goes to therapy for depression. No wonder no one in our circles is open to the idea: it's a bloody comedy.

I'm amazed it isn't a Findley story

[thirtybits]

[Now he has to grin, although he tries to physically wipe it from his face. But of course it doesn't work.] It's a pretty ridiculous image. And so here we are instead, silently suffering.

Pilgrim

[depicted]

So much more dignified. To be miserable and wrecked and suicidal. Much more tragic, and so much more worthy of our hallowed places in Western culture. We have no choice, Judah. For the sake of the Western canon, we must suffer on.

[And it's incredible. Like that, he is up from endless misery and back into this fragile and enduring humour. And it is effortless. Dorian doesn't have to fight the pain, Judas doesn't make him fight it. Judas lets Dorian show his years, and leaves the door open for the escape from them.]

I feel the same. As what you said, about spending time with me.

...oh no I haven't read that one, time to fix it

[thirtybits]

[He simply nods to the first part. It's true, he's probably known that for a long time. There's some beauty in it. If nothing else, there's awful jokes, anyway.]

You feel right at home with you too? [He grins.] I'm glad we have the same appreciation for Dorian Gray.

it's a great one! (and a doorstopper)

[depicted]

[Dorian gives Judas such a grin.] Of course. What more faithful companion, more beloved friend, more near to the heart creature is there in the world but Dorian Gray? I am enamoured of him, and would fain kiss his lips if only he could give me them. But I must make do with poor substitutes, and it torments me.

I probably have it, gonna do it

[thirtybits]

[He can't do anything but grin right back. Big and stupid, there is no other way to describe it.] I guess I'll have to do it for you, I hope that helps, if only a little.

GOOD

[depicted]

[It surprises a laugh out of Dorian, and he pulls Judas that little bit closer.] I imagine it would help a lot. Keep this up, and I'll begin to think you've been lying to me with all those stuttered words and blushing stammers.

[thirtybits]

I'm just getting more comfortable with you! [Of course, bringing it up makes the colour rise, right on cue.] And anyway, it's entirely different...! Making my own sarcastic comments is nowhere near the same.

[depicted]

Was that sarcastic? Oh, now I'm hurt.

[He doesn't sound hurt. He also doesn't sound like he believes it was sarcastic.]

[thirtybits]

W-well not entirely, you know what I mean! Obviously I would kiss you, but it was a joke!

[depicted]

[Teasing Judas is fun, and therefore he will persist.] It was a false promise. You say there was only the one girl, but I am beginning to suspect you have been a heartbreaker. It's very disillusioning.

[thirtybits]

What?! That's absurd! How is there anything about me that would suggest something like that?

[depicted]

It's always the ones who don't seem like it. That's how they get into your heart. Boys and girls who look put-upon, who become exasperated, who can't seem to play the game of love at all—who can't seem to play much of anything. They get you to let your guard down, and then you're theirs for good.

[thirtybits]

Definitely not! You know I've never had the time to even think about that sort of thing! Much less to waste it on meaningless flirting.

[depicted]

[It's not Dorian's fault that Judas is cute when he's teased.] I know you said so, but do I know if you did?

[thirtybits]

It should be obvious! Based on everything you know for fact, I'm certain you can tell I did next to nothing but work and protest until I died!

[depicted]

[Oh it's tempting to break here, but he has to say this one.] Gospels can lie. You said so yourself. John the Liar.

[thirtybits]

That's different! It's just details! Anyway I meant from knowing me yourself. I kind of doubt anyone said much more about me than the betrayal!

[depicted]

[And now Dorian does break, right into a great big laugh. He drags Judas in and ruffles his hair.] And so they missed the essentials.

Pick any tree you like, by the way. I mean, we could wander through here for the rest of eternity, but I was hoping we'd have a chance for a bite to eat.

[thirtybits]

[He jumps, blushing hard. At least the second comment distracts. He looks around and seems to pick something out.]

Then there's an oak over there. ...But I didn't think to bring any food. I'm sorry, that was stupid - I can go back for some.

[depicted]

[Dorian lifts up his other arm: the one off of which the makeshift basket hangs.] Fortunately, I thought ahead. No one re-imagines Nature as a docile setting for idleness like the English.

[thirtybits]

Oh? You never want to take what I offer, but you've at least found yourself something still? That's reassuring at least.

[depicted]

I traded recipes for supplies, if you'll believe it. So let's.

[On reaching the oak tree, Dorian pulls from the basket a blanket, or rather, some stolen drapes in solid block colours, because the patterned things are criminal. He lays it out, then gestures for Judas to sit.] Birthday boy first. Let's try not to inhale any pollen while we're here.

[thirtybits]

You know how to cook?

[He looks surprised. But Judas does sit without hesitation, taking a cautionary loom around when reminded of the flowers.]