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[thirtybits]

"This is Judah's voicemail, no need to leave your number, I'll reply as soon as I can."



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[depicted]

Yeah, you'd never find sumac or saffron in an English pie. [Excuse Dorian while he forks some beef for himself. Mm, meat.

(He killed the cow himself, it was traumatic.)]

[thirtybits]

You'll have to give me favourite recipes to make for you. Even as it's come to light you can cook for yourself. It's still better having someone else do it for you. Especially for simply wanting to...

[Folding a piece of beef in half, Judas decides to use it to scoop up the ful in place of bread.]

[depicted]

[He is masking his delight at Judas actually eating the beef.]

Ugh, well, I can tell you I won't be asking for much English. My country does not have a reputation for fine dining, and there is a reason for it. Some of the ingredients of my favourite may, I'm afraid, be hard to come by. [Like caviar, probably. What an asshole.]

[thirtybits]

I'm sure I can make a lobster trap. [He's sure that indicates expensive taste, and really what else would he expect from Dorian. Lobster is the first thing to come to mind as an expensive ingredient.] This is much better than what I'm used to.

[depicted]

[Dorian presses his lips together to avoid laughing, then grabs himself an apricot.] What matters is that it suits your tastes. I assume you weren't living off of ambrosia up in Heaven, if you're willing to accept this.

[thirtybits]

Oh, I wasn't really in Heaven much, our apartment's in Tokyo. So between the common cooking of the country and living with fishermen, a lot of fish.

[depicted]

[Weird comedy.] I'll remember not to make you any. Unless you really like fish.

[thirtybits]

No, I like fish. Not that it really matters anyway.

[Saint Young Men is a comedy, sorry Dorian.]

[depicted]

What, don't trust my fishing abilities?

[thirtybits]

[He laughs.] Well, there's that. But more so that there's no point in continuing to cook for me...

[depicted]

[Dorian feels a lurch in his stomach. Instead of responding to it appropriately, he claps his hand over Judas's mouth.] You're only allowed to use your mouth to praise my food or eat it. You're not starting on that now. For twenty four hours, all the normal laws are suspended. Understood?

[thirtybits]

[Surprised and caught off guard, Judas flinches, blinking at Dorian.] ...Sorry. Yes. [He hangs his head.]

...Wait, only to praise your food or eat it? Am I allowed to speak otherwise? Or any other use? [Namely kissing him but no it's too much to go ahead and say.]

[depicted]

If you weren't, you'd be in violation right now. [He relaxes enough to go back to picking at his food.] So yes, you can speak about other things, as long as those things are not negating or denying food.

[And then he pauses, and his expression slides into a smile.] And I suppose the rest depends on what other uses you have in mind.

[thirtybits]

I don't know why you're so concerned about it, but I guess I'm not allowed to question it now.

[With another little jump, he rubs his neck.] Anything, I don't know.

[depicted]

Good.

[Dorian is pleased to have one. Celebratory apricot! He kicks out his legs.] Mm, well, I can't say what's allowed if I don't know what you intend.

[thirtybits]

I don't intend anything! You don't need to make a big deal of every comment!

[depicted]

[He laughs richly and pats Judas on the shoulder.] The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

[thirtybits]

Maybe so. I don't see any ladies around though, so what do I know.

[depicted]

[Dorian puts his hands in Judas's hair, tugging down the locks.] Oh, I don't know. In the right clothing, and with your hair down just so, I think you could get away with it.

[thirtybits]

Ah, so that's what you like is it? Feminine men? You should have seen when we had a year go by. When we woke up, I had hair to my waist, and Jesus and Biff had beards to their chests.

[depicted]

[Releasing Judas's hair, Dorian laughs with delight.] I would have loved to have seen that. And taken a photograph or two. I'm sure you were all three of you very charming.

[thirtybits]

It was really embarrassing. We were all in bed together, somehow. I think Biff called is beauty queens, even. So while I'm sure you would have found it hilarious, the more I think about it, the more I'm glad you didn't.

[depicted]

[Dorian grins even more brightly.] Did he? If it weren't for how much Biff disliked you, I think I'd be very fond of him.

[thirtybits]

You would, I think. Actually I think we're on better terms these days. It's mostly just...awkward.

[depicted]

Mm, well, I suppose he can be forgiven that. You are a a naturally awkward person, after all. [He means it in the best way.

Dorian nudges the wine over.] And one who isn't yet drunk enough. Come on! It's your birthday! You can't spend it as sober as all that.