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[thirtybits]

"This is Judah's voicemail, no need to leave your number, I'll reply as soon as I can."



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[depicted]

I spoke English with Englishmen when I was in France. And when I was in Singapore, for that matter.

[The joys of being a former Imperial power: a feeling of linguistic entitlement.]

[thirtybits]

Yes, but most of the Apostles don't speak Hebrew. I'm an outsider in all ways, remember?

[depicted]

I remember. [He grips Judas's as if to bring him in.] But Yeshua knows it.

And I always assumed that Satan would taunt you in your own tongue.

[Accidentally forgetting that Satan is also an actual Hebrew word.]

[thirtybits]

Yes, but I'm never alone with him, it would be rude to speak something Buddha or who ever else is around doesn't understand.

[He immediately assumes satan in the sense of 'opposition'. So, Rome, right?] And as for them, that was still ages ago. But no, they mostly used Latin.

[depicted]

[Okay, he can take that point.

But what? Lucifer uses Latin? Or Judas is using plural. That is plural, right? Yes. It must be. His Hebrew is not that off. So all of the demons?] Latin? All of them?

[thirtybits]

Well, yes, mostly. Some had to know Hebrew or whatever else was used where they were assigned. We couldn't have communicated at all otherwise, right?

[depicted]

[the joys of miscommunication]

So people who don't speak Latin or Hebrew just end up very confused during their torment? I suppose it's all right in Judecca, but I'm told the higher circles are full of Italians.

[thirtybits]

Judecca? [Judas looks very confused for a long moment. And then what's going on hits him.] Oh. No, I was talking about the soldiers. You meant Lucifer? THAT is a case more like this place, I think. I didn't have trouble communicating with anyone in Hell. [He uses the English for Hell, not knowing any word in Hebrew.] Heaven's the same.

[He switches back to English to explain.] 'Satan' means things like 'opposition' in Hebrew. And Hell doesn't exist in Judaism, so...

[depicted]

Oh, right. [It is easier in English, but it's still a little difficult to switch back to that language. Switching languages always requires a certain dexterity that can slip away.] I'd forgotten. Fine model of a damned soul I am.

[thirtybits]

[He waves a hand.] It's fine, it's why I always just say Lucifer. It's my fault, the word always confuses me.

[depicted]

[He nudges Judas with a foot.] You can blame yourself for a lot, but not my linguistic accuracy. 'Lucifer' it is.

[thirtybits]

What? It is accurate!

A-anyway, I really got off-topic. I wanted to say and ask more about the book. If you don't mind that.

[depicted]

Of course. You have more than endured my interrogations. [Dorian gestures with a welcoming sweep of the arm.] Ask what you like.

[thirtybits]

Well, nearly all of it is what happened in reality, right? ...As much as a few things you did are awful enough to make me want to chastise you for them, it's so far in the past I'll leave that alone. I imagine you know well enough already.

[depicted]

[Dorian's smile only half-curves his lips.] A hundred years and a book insistent on the point have done a pretty good job waking me up to my sins. But yes, it's more or less true. I had Oscar lie about my family to a degree, I didn't want to ruin my little sister's prospects, and of course Oscar was merely prescient about my suicide. But the rest is more or less true. He took very little license with the events.

[thirtybits]

That's what I thought... You have a sister? I don't think you've mentioned her before. That much is good of you.

...You were going to be a philanthropist. A lot suddenly made sense after that.

[depicted]

I didn't do much good by my sister, but at least I remembered my brotherly duties enough for that.

[Okay no more talking about Dora. He hates talking about Dora. Let's complain about Lady Agatha instead!] I was going to play Romantic piano duets in Whitechapel at the behest of Harry's tedious aunt. That isn't quite philanthropy, whatever we called it in my day.

[thirtybits]

...That's what they called it? Alright, nevermind. [He shakes his head.] It's probably much better that you didn't. [Judas for one would be very angry if some rich asshole came to play piano for him and called it helping.]

Moving on then, before you said I would probably hate Henry. If he were ever to show up here, you should probably make sure I don't know about it. I won't be held responsible for my actions.

[depicted]

[Dorian is quiet a moment, then he sets down his glass. When he speaks, his voice has a delicate quality to it, as if he is afraid of upsetting Judas. Or himself.] Judah, he was not as bad as all that. I wouldn't want him to come to any more harm than he has because of me.

[thirtybits]

[Well that answers one question Judas has.]

...I'm sure things were difficult for him after the book came out. And no one really deserves for anything terrible to happen to them. [Certainly the coming 'but' is evident in his voice already, even with the pause before it.] ...But I don't think you realise what it seems to me Oscar was trying to tell you.

[depicted]

[Dorian braces himself for that 'but.' God save him.

And it is about as annoying as he expected.] That Harry was not really a true friend and that I needed to stop my shallow, selfish life of using others and rejecting the consequences, or else one day my regrets would become unbearable and I would kill myself? I did work it out.

[thirtybits]

I know you're aware of the rest, but the part about Henry in particular. That he used you.

[depicted]

[The pressed point bleeds him at the chest. Dorian's voice loses volume and his arms draw in to his chest.] I know what Harry did. To—me. I . . . understand what Oscar was saying. That he broke me.

But it was never malice, not ever. He was one of my most loyal and steadfast friends, he stayed with me when others would have turned their backs on me, when others did. And I can't—I won't believe that his loyalty was merely to stay near enough to watch his pet experiment. [The bitterness, that hint of the festering in this injury, disappears in an instant.] Whatever he else he did to me, he was my friend.

[thirtybits]

[With a small nod, Judas casts his eyes as far from Dorian as he can without moving his head more than allowing it to bow.]

I understand.

[He understands, but he doesn't fully agree. In some ways, yes, Dorian knows better, there are some sides to people you can only see in friendship. In other senses, that can be blinding. He knows that too well. Bothering Dorian, prodding the wound, won't help, though.]

[depicted]

But you don't agree.

[Even now, he smiles easily. It's a gift of youth.]

I'm not as blind as I was then. I don't expect you to accept it. But . . . Well. [With a second smile, lips pressed tight, he closes it all off.] It doesn't matter anymore. Harry is dead. We can't hurt each other again.