IC contact

[thirtybits]

"This is Judah's voicemail, no need to leave your number, I'll reply as soon as I can."



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[depicted]

Thank you.

[thirtybits]

I'm not complimenting you.

Unless you manage to do it, then I might be impressed. Although it still wouldn't exactly be a compliment.

[depicted]

I don't see how your intentions in saying a thing ought to have anything to do with how I take the matter.

[thirtybits]

I guess it's expecting too much of you to hope for a normal reaction.

[When Judas arrives, he looks up at the piano and takes off his jacket, dropping it to the ground. He rolls up his sleeves and makes sure they're held in place with the arm garters before testing the climb. Not so great with his shoes on, which isn't a surprise. So he sets them aside as well along with his tie and finally starts to climb.]

[depicted]

[Dorian stops hi in piano-playing efforts (failed, of course) to watch with amusement as Judas tries to scale up the tree.] Is this what the Romans watched for sport? I can see the appeal.

[thirtybits]

[Judas scowls.]

I can drop down and break my neck so you get to worry another week, if it's so entertaining.

[depicted]

[Dorian immediately affects a wounded expression.] That would be cruel, and you are never cruel to me. It isn't in your nature.

[thirtybits]

I could give it a try, it's never too late.

[He pulls himself up, and instead of throwing himself over, bends to hold Dorian's face in his hands and kiss him deeply. For all the times in the two weeks that Judas has wanted to kiss (or even simply talk to) Dorian but has held back.]

[depicted]

[Startled, Dorian reaches for a branch to hold himself stable against the kiss. He does not think to fight it—he answers it with warmth—but his enthusiasm and need are marred by his still-enduring hesitance for fear of hurting Judas. So his hands are only used for balance in a tree, and do not seek out the pleasures they would prefer.]

[thirtybits]

[Judas stands back to steady himself for a moment, but deciding Dorian is firmly in place enough for both of them (and having little care for falling anyway), the small gap is soon closed with arms around the other man, firm.]

[depicted]

[Dorian hesitates a moment longer, wanting to ask what has put Judas in such a determined mood. Then he lets one hand release the tree to carefully touch Judas's cheek.]

[thirtybits]

I'm sorry for the way I've acted the last two weeks. I shouldn't take it out on you for no reason, when it's hard for you too.

[He smiles, kisses Dorian again and moves to start the descent.]

[depicted]

[Dorian stops him from leaving with a hand on his arm, face betraying the confusion that still dictates his behaviour. He still looks vulnerable.] I haven't felt taken-out-on. But, are you—

[Dorian presses his lips together. He finds what he needs to say.] Where do we stand? You know it isn't my habit to ask—I would much rather let things be as they are and change as they will, and never question a thing—but I must know. I don't know any longer what place I have beside you.

[thirtybits]

[Judas stops, chewing his lip. What he would ideally be able to say is that he loves Dorian as much as ever. But he can't seem to find the words for it without saying it directly. And of course he can't use those words.]

I don't feel any differently, I'd be upset if anything changed, rather. It's not like I'm angry with you or anything.

[depicted]

Judah.

[Careful, trying to find a balance between a grip Judas can escape and something firm enough to save him from a fall, Dorian pulls Judas back to him. He ducks his head, to look under that fringe, to see him in the eye.]

Of course I still love you too, but you know I have never loved well. You must guide me to do right by you.

[thirtybits]

[He smiles, just a little, wrapping his hand around Dorian's forearm. There's some pain, faint in his chest, to hear that phrase.]

Are you sure you want to say that? [A laugh to reassure - it's fine if he does.] You've never jury me before, so I don't think I really need to tell you much.

[depicted]

[Dorian manages a slight smile.] I think we're past the point where saying it can do us more harm.

[thirtybits]

That's true. That's one good thing your clone did then, it hurt hearing him say it, but it's alright now, at least. [Judas returns that smile.] I love you too much to care about something not even directly related to you. Or, I mean, I care, but not in relation to you. You shouldn't worry about 'where you stand'.

[depicted]

Are you sure? Up in a tree as we are, it's good to keep an eye on our footing.

[thirtybits]

[He laughs, tilting his head forward to muffle the sound against Dorian.]

You raise a good point.

[depicted]

[Smiling, Dorian ducks his head again, but this time at a closer range.] Alas, but I am reckless, and I would like very much to kiss you again.

[thirtybits]

Then you can, you don't have to stop yourself or ask. Not for something like that, anyway.

[depicted]

What do I have to ask for?

[thirtybits]

Ah. Well. Same as ever. I'm pathetic, so. Nothing new.

[depicted]

[Accepting the point for what it is, Dorian takes a careful kiss. He works through it as if it were a negotiation of territory; for each moment he seizes, he waits for a signal of Judas's acceptance, and then he takes more. But in that slow built there is much of what Dorian has denied himself for all this time. He has felt alone, and now he wants to erase the feeling.]