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[thirtybits]

"This is Judah's voicemail, no need to leave your number, I'll reply as soon as I can."



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[depicted]

[Startled, Dorian reaches for a branch to hold himself stable against the kiss. He does not think to fight it—he answers it with warmth—but his enthusiasm and need are marred by his still-enduring hesitance for fear of hurting Judas. So his hands are only used for balance in a tree, and do not seek out the pleasures they would prefer.]

[thirtybits]

[Judas stands back to steady himself for a moment, but deciding Dorian is firmly in place enough for both of them (and having little care for falling anyway), the small gap is soon closed with arms around the other man, firm.]

[depicted]

[Dorian hesitates a moment longer, wanting to ask what has put Judas in such a determined mood. Then he lets one hand release the tree to carefully touch Judas's cheek.]

[thirtybits]

I'm sorry for the way I've acted the last two weeks. I shouldn't take it out on you for no reason, when it's hard for you too.

[He smiles, kisses Dorian again and moves to start the descent.]

[depicted]

[Dorian stops him from leaving with a hand on his arm, face betraying the confusion that still dictates his behaviour. He still looks vulnerable.] I haven't felt taken-out-on. But, are you—

[Dorian presses his lips together. He finds what he needs to say.] Where do we stand? You know it isn't my habit to ask—I would much rather let things be as they are and change as they will, and never question a thing—but I must know. I don't know any longer what place I have beside you.

[thirtybits]

[Judas stops, chewing his lip. What he would ideally be able to say is that he loves Dorian as much as ever. But he can't seem to find the words for it without saying it directly. And of course he can't use those words.]

I don't feel any differently, I'd be upset if anything changed, rather. It's not like I'm angry with you or anything.

[depicted]

Judah.

[Careful, trying to find a balance between a grip Judas can escape and something firm enough to save him from a fall, Dorian pulls Judas back to him. He ducks his head, to look under that fringe, to see him in the eye.]

Of course I still love you too, but you know I have never loved well. You must guide me to do right by you.

[thirtybits]

[He smiles, just a little, wrapping his hand around Dorian's forearm. There's some pain, faint in his chest, to hear that phrase.]

Are you sure you want to say that? [A laugh to reassure - it's fine if he does.] You've never jury me before, so I don't think I really need to tell you much.

[depicted]

[Dorian manages a slight smile.] I think we're past the point where saying it can do us more harm.

[thirtybits]

That's true. That's one good thing your clone did then, it hurt hearing him say it, but it's alright now, at least. [Judas returns that smile.] I love you too much to care about something not even directly related to you. Or, I mean, I care, but not in relation to you. You shouldn't worry about 'where you stand'.

[depicted]

Are you sure? Up in a tree as we are, it's good to keep an eye on our footing.

[thirtybits]

[He laughs, tilting his head forward to muffle the sound against Dorian.]

You raise a good point.

[depicted]

[Smiling, Dorian ducks his head again, but this time at a closer range.] Alas, but I am reckless, and I would like very much to kiss you again.

[thirtybits]

Then you can, you don't have to stop yourself or ask. Not for something like that, anyway.

[depicted]

What do I have to ask for?

[thirtybits]

Ah. Well. Same as ever. I'm pathetic, so. Nothing new.

[depicted]

[Accepting the point for what it is, Dorian takes a careful kiss. He works through it as if it were a negotiation of territory; for each moment he seizes, he waits for a signal of Judas's acceptance, and then he takes more. But in that slow built there is much of what Dorian has denied himself for all this time. He has felt alone, and now he wants to erase the feeling.]

[thirtybits]

[Judas tries to encourage Dorian, noticing the hesitancy. His fingers curl in Dorian's hair and he tries to stay close without losing balance.]

...Standing on the ground or at least sitting might be a little easier.

[depicted]

True. But the symbolism is so direct up here.

[With a smile, he gives Judas space.] And I was wanting to keep playing. You're not the only pretty thing I want to make up for lost time with.

[thirtybits]

What symbolism am I missing here? But I figured as much, that's why I intended to turn right around, I didn't mean to take up your time.

[depicted]

[He doesn't answer the first part, but for the second he grips Judas's sleeve more tightly.] No, stay. I want your company.

[thirtybits]

Going to play your club music for me?

[depicted]

[Dorian answers with a smile] Going to grind against me listening to it?

[thirtybits]

[Judas shakes his head, but can't help laughing.] You're not a stranger.

[depicted]

It doesn't have to be a stranger.